The Couples 6-Step Change Formula

When you’re in a committed relationship, you’re likely to be much more successful

making personal changes when you make those changes with deliberate intention and

with a plan.

Here’s your Couple’s 6-Step Change Formula to support you to make any change you

decide to make in your life:

Step 1: Decide what behavior you want to change or goal you want to achieve. Carefully

craft a statement about one or two benefits for you personally, for your partner and for

your relationship that will result because of changing this behavior or achieving this

goal.

How will your life, your partner’s life and your relationship be enriched or improved if you

change this behavior or achieve this goal?

Step 2: Make a list of the relevant steps necessary to attain this goal. Be sure to include

short-term, mid-term and long-term benefits so you can celebrate all the tiny wins you

will have on your way to making this change or achieving this goal.

Step 3: Be sure to include two or three strategies that you’re planning use. Also, include

two or three special people you want to ask to be your cheerleaders and support you

through this time of change.

Step 4. Schedule a mutually convenient time to sit down and share with your partner

what, specifically, you want to change inside you, for you. Include all the benefits you

expect to enjoy, the shifts you expect to make and any impacts on your partner and on

your relationship that you anticipate might occur (positive and negative).

Step 5. Share with your partner who you are considering including on your Team of

Cheerleaders. Be specific about each person’s role. Be clear with your partner that

asking others to be on your Cheerleader Team is NOT intended to leave them out or

replace their loving and valuable support. It is intended to support them to support you

in the best way for them; the way that will be the most doable for them.

Thought to Consider: Your partner can never be your everything and they should not be

invited or expected to be your everything.

Step 6. Ask your partner for any feedback or for any support you specifically need or

want from them. Tell them that you are eager to hear all the thoughts, feelings,

concerns and considerations they may have. Then, hold the non-judgmental space for

them to share.

This is the formula to successfully make change(s) you decide will enable you to be

your best and most brilliant, passionate self; change(s) that will improve your body,

mind and Spirit; and changes that will not negatively impact your partner or your

relationship in the process.

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